How important is it to be authentic in your job and in your life?
A while a go, a friend told me that someone in the school playground didn’t think that they would ever work with me as I didn’t appear very professional.
I didn’t wear clothes that they thought were professional and I coached rugby so I often appeared in my rugby clothes. I don’t know who said it and my friend who told me didn’t say when they said it.
This made me pause. This feedback was soul destroying and I felt devastated. I hate it when people don’t like me or when I get messages back that people are judging me.
Then I paused again. I thought about all the times I had people tell me they didn’t like me (never to my face I should add!). Once, I had feedback that a fellow actress in a play said “who is that dreadful girl over there?”. She unfortunately was talking to my best friend, who gave her a piece of her mind – but my best friend still told me. This was the first time that I learnt that people didn’t like me. Understandably, I was devastated!
I didn’t understand that I wasn’t going to be friends with everyone I met. I had no idea that just being me would annoy people.
Years later and with more example of this and I am sure that I should be getting used to it but it still really hurts me.
Today, we are discussing that it shouldn’t matter. This person didn’t know me and they saw me only in one way. But it is some feedback. It does make me pause. So I have to ask myself so questions:
Do I want to be liked by everyone? No
Do I value everyone’s opinion on my dress sense? Hell no!
Do I want to work with people like that? No thank you.
So what do I value in me and what do my clients value in me? I think it’s the fact that I am genuine. I am authentic.
At 3.30pm I coach rugby and therefore turn up in rugby clothes. I think that this means I am helping my community and I am supporting young people. That equals a good thing in my client’s minds. I have got clients through my rugby network.
Sometimes I turn up to school looking like I am a mum and I am ready to do mummy things. That means I don’t think the whole world is judging me for my appearance but for my actions. That equals a good thing in my client’s minds. I have got clients through my mummy network.
I write messages on Facebook for the school events and I am a welcome rep and classroom rep. That means I am knowledgable about somethings in the school community and I hope I help. That equals a good thing in my client’s minds. I have got clients through this Facebook network.
So in conclusion: Clients who want to work with me, work with me because I am like I am. Because I am genuine and I am authentic.
I am not liked by everyone and I don’t like everyone. Thats ok!
We are all struggling to work out how to be authentic in our home life and our work life. Being authentic means that you will find people who don’t like you and sometimes lose clients. But when you are authentic, you will shine. Read the next blog to see how.
Have you had your moment when you realise that not being liked is ok? Contact me.